DATING: LOVE DOES COST MORE THAN A THING -As told by Joe Blunt
So I introduced myself as this brutally honest loner who barely has friends. This post centers on Dating-Love Does Cost More Than A Thing. No?
Well I’ll like to mention the fact that I do love to talk about those issues people don’t. You know like why guys really cheat. Like what guys think of ladies who overdo the make-up and fake hair. That’s not even a tip of the iceberg. Be sure to have your bottle of water next to you while reading any of my material, because you’ll need more than it.
So when people get married these days the said reason is ‘LOVE’. Yes the ‘L’ word that gets thrown around more than basketball at an All Star game.
By my tone, you already know I don’t agree love is the sole or main reason why man and woman decide to join in holy or unholy matrimony. Oh I certainly don’t but before I hit the nail on the head with my theory, let’s talk about that word.
The key word ‘Love’. So what is Love? It is a word prolific in definition but I will use one word to describe it.
Love is Sacrifice. Yes, you heard me -Sacrifice.
Let’s go to church for a bit and talk about the several ways “people” in the bible expressed their love to God, their Creator. Not to mention the ultimate act of Love from God when he sacrificed His only Begotten Son.
Okay let’s leave the church and come to the world in general. So those claiming to be marrying in the name of love, have or are willing to make some huge sacrifice right? No, not exactly in the real world. You see what we call Love these days, is either carnal or heavily laden with conditions and clauses.
Yes, even the so called love that takes one down the altar, can have more terms and conditions than a loan agreement with your bank. Which does make one wonder, why do we bother making promises at the altar?
If you still don’t get the gist then let me spell it out to you.
Today’s love is conditional.
It is a contractual or business agreement, where both parties are getting what they want or they don’t bother.
She wants financial security and a good life. He wants a good looking lady as a trophy wife and… Well to be honest I don’t think I know what my fellow men really want these days.
So when shit hits the fan, what happens is a parting of ways. One party becomes unhappy as he or she believes there has been a ‘breach of contract’. So there is a gradual and eventual parting of ways.
You don’t agree with me?
Have a look at the divorce rates these days and reasons given. Usually the vague term ‘irreconcilable differences’ is used in the divorce form.
Okay let’s not go as far as the divorce.
Let’s talk about the union. Where lady is attracted to a man’s finances and ‘achievements’ before even considering his character.
Ok, so she tries to consider his character but usually gets blinded and biased mainly by her girly fantasy and desperation to look “complete” to society.
She makes the decision and is left regretting and trying to put up.
Or guy is drawn to the hips and good looks or whatever front the lady puts up. Some years into the marriage, things change and he feels this isn’t what he signed up for and looks elsewhere.
So where is the Love?
Where was the sacrifice?
It should have started from the beginning with that person whom you really knew would take care of the intangibles. It should have started with you foregoing the physical and material, and focusing more on the abstract.
Focusing more on the character and potentials than just on what the eyes can see. Money, cars and houses can come and go in a second. Those good looks and curves will certainly leave someday.
And then what happens? If there was Love the short term will be foregone and the long term reality faced. Barely these days do couples come together while the finances aren’t set in stone?
Due to influences, ladies in this society prefer a man who has attained some level of financial success rather than the one they know who has the potential to someday do more.
Not always does ‘the bird in hand’ thinking pay off in the long term.
That is down to the true nature of marriage being more than just a business contract.
With such thinking you start things off on the wrong foot. You’ve tried to put a square peg in a round hole. And then you wonder what is wrong.
We forget that most of our parents met when they were both just starting out and it was the difficulty and challenges they faced together that made their bond stronger.
In this generation, we search for ease and buy into the fairytales of literature and film. We forget that ease is the biggest killer of greatness.
You’ll never have a great marriage or relationship if it came on a platter of gold or it came so easy.
I believe I’ve said more than enough on Dating and over flogged the horse.
There is a need to re-engineer the mind and understand what Love truly is. Not to mention what marriage is truly about.
If you want my advice, quit thinking about the physical and material and focus more on the intangibles.
The character and substance of the person.
Some people these days are silhouettes with no substance. You want to avoid them. Take joy in being with someone who you can build and achieve with. There is a stronger bond built through the struggle and challenges you go through together.
There is no plug and play in life. Don’t kid yourself, because you’d be fooling yourself.
There is Love and it costs far more than things. Subscribe on DATING: LOVE DOES COST MORE THAN A THING
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AUTHOR- JOE BLUNT